Sirius Black (
blackdogstar) wrote2020-10-11 07:26 pm
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no subject
[He is so, very, deeply not qualified for this. Sirius fights the urge to answer immediately yes and simply breathes in deep through his nose. His antennae tremble on his head, his wings fluttering nervously behind him. He doesn't know what to do, what to say. He isn't even sure he follows everything Regulus is saying.]
None of us can go around not believing in people. I think we have to just... to be... [He's say human but they aren't that any more, are they?] Just to be. I don't know why you stick to the ones you stick to, I never really understood how you think, and I'm sorry. I could have done more to try, and I didn't. But... it was safe, wasn't it? When we were little. It was safe to believe with we were told, kept... kept you from getting hurt or getting yelled at. You just... developed the habit, I guess.
[He drags his sharp nails back through his hair.]
I'm not exactly free of my old habits either. It's hard. To change.
no subject
It didn't stop anything.
Mother still yelled. Especially after you left. I think it made Bellatrix worse. And... and it almost got Kreacher killed. It did get me killed.
I should have gone when you did. I should just have listened to you, if I was going to listen to anybody.
[He raises his head, white light from his eyes reflecting on the tendrils of darkness that snake all around him.]
I'm sorry. About the shadows. I'm trying to...
...I can't control it. [I can't control myself, he means. These are more feelings than even he can tamp down.]